If I had to make a movie out of my life and pick a title for it (not that I would, since my life is incredibly boring), it would probably be something closely related to “Wallflower”. Not because it bears any sort of similarity to the book by Stephen Chbosky, but because living life as a person who keeps their mouth shut and gets their work done is a pretty nice thing. But there have to be some drawbacks, right?
I know that humans can be beautiful and lovely and all around wonderful, but there are some spiteful, hateful, disgusting human beings that I don’t really hate or harbor any ill will towards, but I wouldn’t mind if some kind of celestial force were to come and smack some sense into their thick skulls.
I won’t go into any details on the first event, but it astonishes me how callous some girls that are my age, maybe even a little older, can be. Thank you, three teenage girls who made fun of me over something I had literally no control over. Bonus points for laughing obnoxiously and sharing your satire with everyone you came into contact with thereafter.
Secondly, to teenage boys who think it’s cute to ask girls out as a joke, it’s not. It’s terrible for their self-esteem, and it’s a great way to make yourself look like a total prick. Not that this particular example really had any effect on me—it’s the first time anyone has asked me out since before April, and I had no problem telling him off. PRO TIP: Asking a girl who doesn’t really have that much interest in guys (though, they don’t know that, I guess) if she has any ‘sexual interest’ in you doesn’t get you anywhere.
Do I look desperate? Or stupid? I mean, I’m one of three freshmen in an all sophomore class, so I think you can count out stupid.
Anyway, I really needed to blow off steam in a journal that was at least a little bit empowering, but honestly, I don’t feel any better. I’m angry and amazed because god DAMN, how can anyone be that mean? I don’t talk to anyone at school that doesn’t talk to me, and the people that talk to me are my friends. It’s been a very, very long time since I’ve been genuinely mean. If I’m ever ‘mean’, it’s because I’m joking. Generally, the ones I’m being ‘mean’ to know me well enough to know that I mean no harm and they can laugh right on along with me.
How anyone can be blatantly mean to someone they don’t know is one of the most baffling things to me.